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Clan War: Starting the War/Transcript
(Vault Hunter accepts the mission.) Ellie: Hey, cutie! Got a job for ya. Why don't you stop by my place out in The Dust? (Mission objectives update: Reach Ellie's) (Vault Hunter fast-travels to The Dust to meet with Ellie.) Ellie: Thanks for comin' out to see me. Got a fun little project for ya. Ellie: How do you feel about gang wars? The Hodunks and the Zafords have been havin' a half-assed feud for years, and I been thinkin' the world might be a teensy, weensy bit better if all of 'em were dead. Or at least one of 'em. Grab those explosives and the clan emblems. The emblems are back in the junkyard. (Mission objectives update: Gather dynamite: 0/2) Ellie: Here's my plan: you go to Hodunk territory, do that thing you do -- by which I mean shoot lotsa people and look damn good doin' it -- and leave the Zaford emblem as a calling card. Then, you head to Zaford territory in the Highlands and do the same thing with the Hodunk emblem. Sound good? (Vault Hunter picks up explosives.) Ellie: Explosives alone won't do it -- we'll need each clan's family emblem. Check my junk... yard; I'm purdy sure I got some old emblems lyin' around somewheres. (Mission objectives update: Pick up Hodunk emblem, Pick up Zaford emblem) (vault Hunter picks up Hodunk emblem.) Ellie: Hodunks chose that as their emblem 'cause they love skinny chicks. And they love skinny chicks 'cause they's pussies. (Vault Hunter picks up Zaford emblem.) Ellie: Zafords chose the clover as their emblem for good luck. Which'll be pretty damn ironic once we're done with 'em. Ellie: Now that you got the emblems, it's time to get the clans pissed off at each other. (Mission objectives update: Sabotage Hodunk Speedway) Ellie: Now that ya got all the stuff, head out to the Hodunk speedway. Man, those Hodunks are gonna be so pissed, they'll regret not killin' me when I was a baby even more. (Vault Hunter drives over to Hodunk Speedway entrance.) Ellie: That there is the third largest tire on Pandora -- the Hodunks' pride and joy. They'll be awful disappointed to see it blowed the heck up. (Vault Hunter plants explosives then backs away to a safe distance.) Ellie: I'd back up, 'cause this is gonna be awesome! (Explosives go off bringing down the large tire and the entrance gate.) (Mission objectives update: Place Zaford emblem) Ellie: Now slap that Zaford emblem down! (After dealing with some Hodunk grunts, Vault Hunter places Zaford amblem.) Jimbo hodunk: (furious, unintelligible old coot gibberish) Tector Hodunk: Papa Jimbo sees that disgustin' Zaford emblem, and he accepts your challenge, Mick Zaford! The seas will run green with Zaford blood! (Mission objectives update: Sabotage the Holy Spirits) Ellie: Ooh! Haven't heard Jimbo that angry since the time he heard my family was leavin' his dumbass clan. Momma didn't wanna raise Scooter and me alongside a bunch of morons who'd sooner eat a baby than help raise one. That, and one time Jimbo told Moxxi to kill some dude or they was gonna turn me into the clan-wife. She wasn't havin' none of that. So, yeah. Good, uh... good memory. Why don'tcha go to the Holy Spirits Bar out near Overlook and blow their crap up, too? (Vault Hunter fast-travels to the Overlook then heads over to Zafords distillery.) Ellie: You're near the Holy Spirits. That's the Zaford family base of operations. Boy oh boy, are they gonna be pissed when they see what we got in store for 'em. Ellie: There's one real easy way to piss off a Zaford: destroy their liquor. Just put those charges on the distillery and start runnin'! (Vault Hunter places explosives on the distillery.) Ellie: I'd back up, 'cause this is gonna be awesome! (If the Vault Hunter doesn't move away to a safe distance ...) Ellie: I'd get back, sweetheart -- that Zaford liquor's gonna blow up real good. (Explosives go off destroying the distillery.) Ellie: Now all we gotta do is play both sides against the middle and see who comes out on top! Ha, should be fun! (Mission objectives update: Place Hodunk emblem) (Vault Hunter places Hodunk emblem on the ruined distillery.) Mick Zaford: What's goin' on out there? Piss on me eyes! Is that the Hodunk emblem I see? Dem bastards broke the truce! You rednecks will regret messin' with Mick Zaford! Ellie: Heheheh. He sounds pissed. I bet he's already got a plan to strike back against the Hodunks, and he'll need the help of somebody like you. Mick Zaford: I'm calling all gun-hands ta help me stamp out the Hodunks! I pay in blood, booze, and bullets! Come to the Holy Spirits Bar! (Mission objectives update: Respond to Zaford's call) (Vault Hunter enters the Holy Spirits where he meets Mick Zaford.) Mick Zaford: Ah, a new recruit! Welcome to the Zaford family. Mick Zaford: You didn't see tha bastard who destroyed my distillery, did ya? Mick Zaford: Lemme getcha a drink. (Mick Zaford comes to the bar and starts banging the taps.) Mick Zaford: Dammit -- it's dry! Those Hodunks destroyed my distillery! That's IT! The truce is OFF! You! Vault Hunter. Let's talk. (Vault Hunter turns in the mission to Mick Zaford.) Category:Transcripts